A time to heal

Since falling MS-drunk sleep in front of a heater (🙄❗️) and having two (2) four (4) inch blister-burns that turned into MRSA Staph infected Scars of MS, I have become more involved with of the self-care of my skin. 

Currently, my routine consists of these essentials: Ole Henrickson, an Aloe Leaf, Black soap, Turmeric, and Shea butter-infused products. Since going to a dermatologist and adding a bleaching cream to my daily routine, and receiving some ill-effects (bleached spots) from that, I’ve started to become hyper-focused on my scar and skincare.

The Drop-foot chronicles and scared legs:

With drop-foot, an ailment in my right leg, prior to me breaking my foot, I did not realize due to nerve damage on my legs I was continuously sustaining cuts and bruises, resulting in me now having scared legs.

I was also an unfortunate victim of my rollator 🙄🤬. The seat tore into pieces. I continually sat on the broken seat and while not initally feeling it, I sustained bruises and scratches to my lower bum and upper thighs 🥺😭.

I am tending to these big to minor bruises with Mederma and Bio-Oil. I’m exfoliating with Paula’s Choice, moisturizing with Pink Sugar, Milk and Honey from The Glow Bar and Rosehip and Tumeric oil from Etsy to aide in healing my scared skin.

Okay, now, what happened to the ankle?

Initally, I recall The Husband pointing out a sizable blister, us not remembering what I possibly rubbed against or what may have caused the irritation. The next day it POPPED 😖.

 👆🏾I initially thought “ugh, this must be ‘MS Cog Fog’” losing your train of thought mid-sentence, forgetting why you entered a room, or struggling to remember a friend’s name are all possibilities when cog fog strikes.” I thought maybe I just could not remember and became frustrated with my lack of rememberance.

Then, days later, blisters appeared on my back and then they popped, again—I knew something was wrong.

Irritated and concerned, I called my primary and setup an immediate appointment. It is summer in Florida right now, and one of my major symptoms is heat intolerance. When my father rolled me to his SUV in scorching 90 degree humidity I could feel my body screaming.

I got into his vehicle feeling a bit odd, so I put my head on the dashboard and turned the AC on HIGH. Didn’t help. I then felt my mouth become very “full of saliva”—that’s when I know I am on my way to throwing up 🤢. We stopped on the side of the road, I puked up stomach acid, and muddled to my concerned father “just get me to her office 😣”. Once in her suite, I began to sweat PROFUSELY, having shortness of breathe and hunched over to my knees in my rollator, barely breathing.

The doctor walks in, immediately not liking what she sees. She looks at my inflamed leg, damaged skin and asks permission to call an ambulance. We complied 🙄.

I then found myself in an ambulance, sweating bullets, barely breathing. We get into the ER, tests began to be get run on: infections, blood cots, MRSA, a muriad of things—all to come back negative 😒😫😖.

I dispise a hospital. I hate the smell, I hate touching things (GERMS!), I hate the food, hospitals do not make me feel at ease—at all.

Fast-forward to day 5 😑, I am still here, still with no answers to my swollen leg or what has caused it (if you have not noticed I’m a little bougie—but at the most basic level though 👀). My creeping thoughts are: my birthday is right around the corner 😩😫. I do not like a bill from where I have not wanted to be 😑 (my father’s fiscally conservative nature rearing it’s head). I am finding NO refuge here, so I’ve been annoyed, irritable and grumpy that I am still here and have made it a point to let it be known.

“I need answers or I need to be discharged 😡. I am ready TO GO 😑❗️”

The sum of my tenure: doctor’s do not see this as an MS issue. Tests are showing them no true cause and (legally—if we’re being honest) they do not want to release me, for me to have an unknown exacerbation and there would then be a lawsuit 🤷🏾‍♀️. So I am stranded here. Waiting for answers.

I have hereforth made the declaration that: I will not go into my 30s stressed from past MS mishaps, I will scram, yell, maybe cry, THEN maybe learn from them 🙄. I will work on this poorly functioning body (adding a few more supplements and strengthening my core and legs), I will work on this now bruised ankle and scarred skin.

I just won’t let this disease turn me ugly.