T R A U M A Z I N E

In review of my life with this dangerous brain disease, I realize my “work, work mentality” aided me in being in a wheelchair. 

RRMS hates stress, hates conflict, where I took and take it on relentlessly. This has bit me in the ass, by causing more lesions in my brain and disconnecting my brain from communicating with my lower body 😵‍💫. It pains me to not be able to use my legs. To be a hardline victum to this miserable disease. But I now have answers. I now seek to find solutions for how am I to get back to my legs? How am I to be better with what I now know about myself.

This journey is traumatizing. One day I feel asleep on the floor with both legs, and woke up only being able to use one, to now only using none. I am at a loss. I did TOO much and now I must make amends with myself, with my body, with my MS, because it’s crippling me. 

Did I work to much? 

Yes, in college I went to school and had two jobs. I didn’t have a financially supportive family. I had to make and get my own. Paired with a brain disease that feeds on malfunctionin I unknowingly walked myself into this nightmare. 

It took me two years to realize this painful conclusion. What do I always do? Strap on my boots and go to fight. 

C A R E F U L L Y, again 🙄.