The Neighbor

With this disease I use to think I was cursed. Nothing in this life could have prepare me for this journey. I’m excited, anxious, and over joyed for my baby Q. I could not wait to physically SEE him opposed to feeling him navigate around in my stomach. My organs have been pushed around enough and were crying for relief.

I woke up in March throwing up manically. I knew “something was off!” and immediately told the husband “get a test 😫❗️”. My Primary sent me to an OB office, where I concluded, “something is wrong, but I’m not pregnant 😳. I can’t be!”

Nine months later 📣.

A million thoughts started circling through my head.

1️⃣ “Your legs…you need them back. What are you going to do?”

2️⃣ “You need to start dedicating time FOR REAL to take care of you. A sane motyer is a happy mother.”

3️⃣ “You won’t be like your egg donor. You will be better.”

4️⃣ “Take your time. Rome was not built in a day. Neither will your family be. Stay, be calm.

5️⃣ “Take it day by day. Little by little. This baby is a culmination of your husband and you. Be proud. Not paranoid.”

I prayed for a healthy baby. Even with MS I plan to be easy on myself.

Women are the creators of life, births of nations. Though it has been hard, eating, sleeping, moving, I am over the moon with seeing his face, his eyes, smelling the new baby smell 😍, and being an even better mom than I had WITH this disability 💪🏾.

But as of today, he is the neighbor that has barged in and I am already tired 😫. Sleep? I have had insomnia since pre-baby, I hear no sleep is JUST the beginning.

He is the greatest gift life has given me. He is the cuteist, loudest, aggressively hungriest body in our home and I am in love with every piece of his toothless behavior 🥰.

Motherhood is a job that I never thought I wanted, even with a disability. It’s an awakening for me. To watch life develop and to be a part of it with one of my loves, our son is bliss ✨.