MS is a demyelinating disease that eats away at your myelin, the fatty protective covering over your nerve fibers. What (to me) seemed like a quick fix of “what rehabilitation program do I need to start?,” “or medicine do I need to take?,” quickly became learning experiences on permanent steps I needed and continue to need to start enacting in my life--medical opinions, specialist appointments, and necessary precautions to implement in my life. I felt relieved that I was not crazy, that my symptoms were real; confused to what MS is, and angry that I was going to war-again, but this one bigger than any I’ve had before.
A walk to my office turned into a blur as I walked up a hill and tripped on an uneven, concrete slab causing me to meet the pavement face first. After falling in front of morning rush-hour traffic, the immediate concern after feeling my teeth uneven was “my teeth!” They were shattered, tiny pieces in my mouth, a blooded knee and a lightly scrap chin. “I give up,” was moments away from slipping from my mouth. But that’s not Ashley, that’s not who I am, so I sat frozen for a minute on the ground and started to think “get up and figure out how you’re going to fix this.
And fix it I did. Giving up is a not a luxury I can afford. Cheers to starting over and reminding myself to keep it moving.