To be faithful, while battling the crippling symptoms of MS 😒 😑 🫥 that is determination.
By definition faithful is to be: reliable, trusted, or believed, true to one's word, promises, and vows.
I am faithful in my daily life amongst family, friends, and work. When it comes to religion…? I claim Christianity, but God and I have been on separate sides since growing up with an unemotional father and selfish egg donor. Life was hard. Growing up with a these types of people who used God as an excuse for their ways made me hate religion and question,
“WHY AM I HERE?”
It was never easy; always, a competition on how to survive everyday. With her, with life, with MS, now I have lost the ability to move my legs. Trusting an invisible source was beyond me. “This being” has watched me fall, continuously pick myself up, crumble, get up again, hit rock bottom, and try to pick myself up with many failures.
Trust in a figment of a Bible? Something no one in this time has ever seen?
F U C K N O.
I needed help, and I was the only one that saved me!
I was, am, dark because of my anger with where life had and has placed me. But lately, as I try to find hope and peace with my disability, I am oddly driven back to him—God.
It’s C R A Z Y 🤯—a massive mind-bender filled with trusting and believing in something I can’t and may never see. As I use the Bible app for peace, I see things for what they were, what they are. I was tired of yelling, “Damnit! I’m tired of being one of your strongest soldiers❗️When will I find peace?” MS is physically, emotionally, and mentally killing me.
I’m DONE trying ‼️I’m weathering the storm. I’m getting blown away. Give me a BREAK 💀.
I’ve navigated suicide attempts (two in college), and I’ve made it through life and disability trenches. I am tired of being one of God’s strongest soldiers. Where is my damn
B R E A K 💨 ?!
