To the late Kate Spade, I was you.

Fashion designer, Kate Spade as of Tuesday morning committed suicide by hanging herself with a scarf. My initial thoughts were, "My God, what haunted you, kept you up at night, terrified you so much you thought the best solution was the end?"

As a fashion ENTHUSIAST, I feel I witnessed Spade indeed take over the handbag industry. Every young woman had and still has a Spade bag as a coveted possession in college and her professional career. From the outside looking in, it is easy to say "but didn't she have it all??" Her death reminds me I'm not alone in my battle with depression. Recently with MS I slipped further into severe depression and had to battle with myself to stay alive. The aches, the mental and emotional pain, frustration, endless sorrow, and the one that causes many to cross the finish line, the feeling of no need for a tomorrow. I find myself grieving for a woman I have never known and who has never known me, but I identify with her struggle. I cannot blame her for her exit at all, only force the need for survival of the living. 

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, approximately 123 suicides are committed each day. The mind is powerful and more dangerous than any weapon. Mental health conditions when left untreated can cause devastation. We've all, unfortunately, have witnessed the saddening trend of school and public shootings. Let us not forget that solace is not privileged to everyone. 

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass," Maya Angelou.

Rest in power, Spade. 

I dedicate this post to my darling sister and fiancé. I would not be here without you both. 

 Update: Rest in eternal peace to Anthony Bourdain and victims of suicide.